Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
