wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
