I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
