Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
