i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
