my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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