saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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