Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
