I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
