I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
