If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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