we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
