i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the condom got lost in my hair
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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