u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
