I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
