So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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