I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
