The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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