i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
