stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
