dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
