I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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