I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am one with the molecules
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
