If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
