she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
