Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
