why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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