do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
