is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
