If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
