I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
