Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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