i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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