every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
