I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
