you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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