Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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