Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
