they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
