That's intense
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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