sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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