Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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