Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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