I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
