His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
