She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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