You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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