You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
