so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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