eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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